he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
