My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm always down for nudity.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize