Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize