I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
