in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
