Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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