Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
