So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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