he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
