If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
