is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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