Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
