So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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