I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
