my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
