Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
