Will you blow on my dice?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize