I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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