There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
All the doctor said was why
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
