i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
