I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
