Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
