Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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