yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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