I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
there was a trapeze. enough said
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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