woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
