Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
