So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
