i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
