Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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