Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
