yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
