Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
