ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
