It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
This house was built for laser tag.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
