i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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