Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
