never play flip cup with pint glasses
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
