I just pynch a tree in the face
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
