I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
