I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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