Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
