Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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