R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
