I want to stick my p in your. b.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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