If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We left the knife in your bed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
