So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
