i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have already put on my inside pants.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
