I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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