I don't think brook has ever known best
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize