I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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