So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize