How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
