you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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