I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
