Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
